In the beginning, survival revolved around getting more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep, eating something other than handfuls of trail mix for breakfast and lunch, showering.  Over time, we’ve established our routines, Kennedy has adjusted to sleeping on her own, to playing while I shower or prepare lunch.

Two weeks ago, I returned to work.  I survived.  It was harder than existing on no sleep, than waking up to change a diaper in the middle of the night, only to have to run a bath and change clothes because there is poop everywhere.  I never thought 5.5 hours could be quite so heart wrenching.  In fact, prior to having a baby, I imagined that my return to work would be a welcome reprieve, an opportunity to interact with adults and exercise my mind.  Turns out, I don’t need those things as much as I thought I did .  Turns out, I am perfectly content with cuddles and made up songs, with cooing and endless bouncing to sleep.  But, I survived the return.  Kennedy, mind you, was fine with the whole scenario.  She has been home with Daddy, today with Gramma and Poppa, she has had great naps and catnaps, eaten heartily and played happily.

I’ve heard parents explain that these aches and pains are only the beginning of many.  It is ache that is borne out of love that is intense and wonderful and I feel so lucky to love someone so much that it hurts to be away from her.  Each day is a little easier to survive, and that first smile when I get home makes any memories of my morning at work just melt away!